Yesterday, one of my incredible publicists, Kim Dower, set me up to meet several booksellers in the Bay Area. Yes, I know my last post was about what a lousy driver I am, and how I have no sense of direction. So how in the world would even Queenly I presume to get to San Francisco and back from Modesto, nearly 100 miles away?

This Queen has her own driver, of course.

Sir Tim very nobly agreed to chauffer me on his day off (perhaps less due to his being one heck of guy, than his fear that if allowed to go by myself he’d be getting my late night, frantic call – from Portland).

I met with a few booksellers, and Karen West at Book Passage in Corte Madera, was the very first.

Book Passage, for any of you who don’t know (living under a rock, perchance?) is an ultra-fabulous book store in Marin that also hosts writers workshops, conferences and classes complete with very illustrious faculty. Indeed, the biggest names in publishing make sure to stop by for readings and signings, including Isabel Allende, Bill Bryson, Tim Cahill, Amy Tan, Michael Chabon, Anne Lamott, Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Madeline Albright to name drop just a few. (Check out their website for all the wonderful upcoming events at "BPU." Even if you don't live near San Francisco, Book Passage hosts writing workshops spanning several days. What could be better than learning from the masters and spending time in the greatest city in the world?)

I had lunch with Karen, Director of Events & Conferences outside in the California sunshine (we’ll be heading back to Boulder in a couple of weeks, so this was even more of a treat), as we ate salads and sandwiches provided by Book Passage's very own, in store café. (How neat is that?)

Of course, we talked about QUEEN OF THE ROAD, but we also had an interesting discussion about the issues it raises for us baby boomers who hit their 40s and ask, “Is this all there is?” Karen expressed, oh so well, that even though many readers can’t drop everything and travel for a year, hopefully, by reading QUEEN OF THE ROAD they can learn an important life-lesson or two. (Very wise woman, this Karen.)

I had always envied booksellers. I mean, getting paid (in part) to read? But, Karen pointed out that she actually reads fewer books than she would like because she also has to read periodicals and newsletters about books and publishing. So, I’m a little less envious than I was. A little.

Here’s a picture of the two of us standing at the very same podium as all those amazing writers, movers and shakers. Karen was kind enough to suggest we pose there, saying, “So you’ll have a picture of where you’ll be speaking!”

More on my other meetings at other fabulous bookstores to come…

Yesterday, I got to spend several hours with John Elder Robison, whose memoir, LOOK ME IN THE EYE, you should all check out, if you haven't already (it was a NYT bestseller when it came out last year). The paperback is being released in September. He has been a wonderful mentor to me through the whole publishing process - telling me what to expect and answering questions. He even reviewed the galley of QUEEN OF THE ROAD on his blog and gave me a wonderful blurb for the cover.

After exchanging many emails over the past year, we finally got to meet yesterday, when he was in Boulder for one of his many speaking engagements.

What a sweetheart.

I knew from reading his book that he is smart and wickedly funny, but I guess I had to meet him to understand - well, I think John said it best when he commented to me about Tim later, "He seems like a gentle mate." Takes one to know one, John!

I took John to Denver (he's brave, too, getting in the car with me driving and all) to see the bus. I provided a tour of the interior, while Tim did the honors for the innards (which I had never even seen before. Imagine that.) John seemed genuinely interested and impressed with our mobile home, which tickled us both no end, since he's had a lot of experience with buses and engines and such.

Then, we headed back to Boulder for dinner with Bella Stander, Kristen Nelson and Kim Reid.
What a wonderful group!

(Right to left: John, Bella, Kim, Kristen and me.)

Bella is an author consultant extraordinaire. She has helped me (and several others I know) tremendously. Once you have a book contract, before you do anything else - consult Bella! She also blogs about many topics pertinent to writers, throwing in a lot of her patented Bella humor. If you're a writer and you want straight talk and sound advice, see Bella.

Kristen is a literary agent based in Denver. I've been reading her fabulous Pub Rants blog for some time. It's one of the most informative agent blogs out there.

Kim is a recent first-time author, whose memoir, NO PLACE SAFE, came out in October. I'd heard of her fascinating story before - she was 13 during the summer of the Atlanta Child Murders and her mother was a lead detective on the case. But, listening to her speak about her childhood and the racial issues she deals with in the book, made me put in my order as soon as I got home. No excuse people - it sounds like a wonderful read, got a fabulous PW review and it's in paperback (just like my book will be, hint, hint). Kim also has a great sense of humor and I so enjoyed meeting a fellow (or lady, as the case may be) Boulder author.

After dinner, everyone (except John - why is that?) commented on my shoes. Since I do have a reputation to uphold, I thought I'd let you see why (even Morty seems to like them):

So, if you haven't yet figured out one of the major benefits of being an author - it's getting to meet such wonderful people as these.

Nothing snarky about today's post. Nope. Nothing, indeed.

I realize I haven't posted much about the whole publishing process thing. That's 'cause it's a mystery to me. To wit:

My editor, the fabulous Stacy Creamer (Lance Armstrong's IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BIKE; Elizabeth Edwards' SAVING GRACES; Lauren Weisberger's THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA) gave me the news yesterday that Borders had decided to make QUEEN OF THE ROAD one of its June book club picks. This means it and the other picks (four this month - two fiction, one young adult and one nonfiction - that'd be me in June) are placed in the front of the store with special reading group guides. Random House had to push the publication date up from June 10 to June 3 because of this. Made no difference to me. My (writing) work is done. I sent back the final corrected proofs over a week ago.

How did this happen? I had no idea this was in the works, or that it was even possible. I'm thrilled beyond belief and so grateful to... I have no idea who to be grateful to, but thank you, whoever you are!

I've been pinching myself to see if I'll wake up. Then, I didn't sleep all night. Go figure!

And, while I'm on the subject of the whole writing thing, blurbs were due a week ago and the winner is.... me! I was lucky indeed to get such fabulous blurbers. Thank you, all!

"Two psychiatrists driving a motorhome around America, and you're still wondering whether to buy this book? Step on the gas and go straight to the register." – Jeff Arch, Academy-Award nominated screenwriter, Sleepless In Seattle

“Doreen Orion has a fresh, wry voice that's all her own and she works it like a rodeo rider in her light-hearted and yet tender new memoir 'Queen of the Road.' ” - Jacquelyn Mitchard, bestselling author, The Deep End of the Ocean

"Doreen Orion and her handyman husband Tim prove, with abundant laughs and martini shaker in hand, that sometimes the best way to enrich home-life is to leave the home...or, better yet, just put it on wheels." - Franz Wisner, bestselling author Honeymoon with My Brother

“His dream – he’s always wanted to see America in a converted bus – and her nightmare –she has a bus phobia – and their mid-life crisis on wheels, make for a hilarious reading adventure.” - Mary-Lou Weisman, author of Traveling While Married

“You will never look at a psychiatrist the same way again. And you will never take a bus driver for granted, either." - John Robison, bestselling author, Look Me In the Eye

OK. It's not that I'm like a book group virgin or anything, but I just got my first real book group request! I say "real" because my own book group - the one I've been in for over a decade - is reading my book off galley copies in May. (I'll be posting pictures of the gathering on the book group page of my website.) But, they kinda have to read it, ya know?

Not this group. Nope. This group contacted me! And, I don't know any of them! How cool is that? They are local and we scheduled for early August, so I can even go in person and not just by speakerphone. (You can bet your tiara I'm bringing my camera and will post pictures right here on the blog.)

I can't tell you how exciting it is to have the first, real, tangible evidence that SOMEONE other than those who must - like my agent, editor, mother and friends (who want to stay so) actually wants to read QUEEN OF THE ROAD.

Oh, lord. What if they hate it? Maybe I SHOULD appear by speakerphone?

Wait. They promised alcohol. Never mind.

The fabulously wise and wonderful editors of Quick and Simple Magazine have decided to do a spread on QUEEN OF THE ROAD for one of their summer issues.

As such, Tim and I were each interviewed by phone, and a local photographer dispatched to take pictures of us in and around the bus. The plan was to drive it to nearby Red Rocks, for a simply gorgeous setting for the outdoors shots. Since this was to be for a summer issue, we were to wear summer clothes. After much rummaging through the Royal Wardrobe, I settled on a light top, light pants and sandals.

Joe Hancock of Hancock Studio and his assistant, John, were quite wonderful - and quick. We'd had magazine photo shoots before for my first book and the promised "three hours" inevitably turn into an all day affair. (Hey, Joe! Wonder why I insisted on meeting at 3 p.m.? I figured dusk would hold you to the three hour thing.) This was actually the very first shoot we've ever done which came in UNDER the promised time. Thus, we got our "quick." Unfortunately, "simple" was not to be had.

It started snowing. Did I mention I wore sandals?

Red Rocks would have been obliterated by white out, so we stayed at the warehouse where Tim stores the bus. Scenic, huh?

Joe and John stayed all nice and snuggly warm in their North Face parkas.

If I look like I'm freezing, I am. Then, there was the constant wind thing...

Poor Joe. I kept demanding, "Don't supermodels on swimsuit shoots in Antarctica get like $10,000 a day?" When he informed me that no one on this particular shoot would be getting anywhere near that amount, I countered with, "Fine. But, I doubt while those supermodels are freezing in their bikinis, the photographers are allowed to wear parkas." Joe kept quiet on that one, although it's not hard to imagine what he was thinking. (Something along the lines of, "Why didn't I listen to my mother and become an electrician? Oh, no. I had to be an artiste.")

Poor Joe.

(And, in case you're wondering - the shoot could not be rescheduled due to the magazine's deadline.)

***Special thanks to John Frank of Vanture Coach Manufacturing (our bus converters) for taking the photos of the photo shoot. (I figure I'll get as many favors out of them as I can before they read about themselves in the book - I kid! I kid!)
Oh, and ladies (as well as 10% of the gentlemen amongst you): DO check out this picture on my book group page, taken just as we took off at the very start of our bus year - The Men of Vanture Coach. They're quite ready for their own close ups, no?

Just wanted to let everyone know you can now read an excerpt (ie the first chapter) of QUEEN OF THE ROAD on my website. Oh, quit yawning. What if I told you that every chapter begins with a commemorative (of our many disasters) martini recipe?

Now, wait a minute! Can't you at least finish reading this blog entry, first?

I wanted to show you this picture:

It's me signing my very first foreign rights contract - Germany. Queen of the Autobahn, here I come! Note the pink flannel poodle PJs and of course, the martini at hand to celebrate. It's the Prevost Princess; the recipe that starts the first chapter. And no, you're not yet finished with this blog entry. Isn't it a bit early for martinis in your time zone, anyway? Sheesh.

Today, I also found out that QUEEN OF THE ROAD has already had a second printing! Pretty cool for a book that hasn't even been published yet. Yeah, yeah, I'm tooting my own (bus) horn, but what do you expect after a Prevost Princess?

Fine. Go on, already. (And if you do make the recipe, please let me know how you liked it - if you can remember, that is.)

PS - On Monday, I start my blog tour over at Mental Health Notes in anticipation of QUEEN OF THE ROAD's pub date of June 3rd. By Sunday, I'll also be posting a new video and podcast. Stay tuned... (so, easy on the Prevost Princesses, OK?) and thanks to all for your wonderful support! It continues to be most appreciated.

Last night my very own, fabulous book group (the one I've been in for over a decade) did QUEEN OF THE ROAD off galley copies. Thanks, ladies!

Of course, they were very complimentary. (What else were they going to say? They knew my onion rings would have made great projectiles.) And, for once, everyone finished the book! (Ditto - well, at least they said they did.) But, I was particularly gratified that in addition to the humor, they also "got" the underlying themes:

Don't wait - live your dreams NOW.

Keep challenging and stretching yourself.

The most important thing is to spend time with the people you love.

So, without further ado, here's my fabulous book group:

(Photo taken by our knights in shining armour, Peter Gail and his friend Michael, who had a camera in his cell phone, and saved the day when my camera refused to work.)
Jane Ann Hebert, Dina Horwedel, Sheryl Allen, me, Robbie Barr, Susan Wientzen at the Dark Horse, whose sister restaurant, The Bum Steer is mentioned in QUEEN OF THE ROAD as the place Tim and I had our first date. (He tricked me into going - the name couldn't be more appropriate.)

A few of the women are mentioned in the book:

Jane Ann has worked with Tim. Last night, she had to answer the question: "Is he really as great as Doreen portrays him?" (Hmmm. Wait'll I do that next edition.) Answer: "Yes." (There's that whole onion ring thing, again.) But then, she added, "And, what's really great, is you can tell how much he loves Doreen." Made even my cold, shrivelled heart melt. Thanks, Jane Ann.

Susan got some ribbing because in the book, I call her, "the most gorgeous woman I know." So, of course, she had to point out that I've had PRK - twice. (Maybe that explains my blinking in the picture.)

Sheryl, I term my "insane" friend, because her dream is to hike the Appalachian trail - 'nough said.

Robbie is mentioned in the acknowledgements as one of my beta readers, because I very much appreciated her judgment. (She's a judge - get it?)

Dina, who has had a fascinating life, providing aid in destitute, war-torn areas around the globe, had been in our group years before, then left to do her good work. She came back only recently and we're selfishly thrilled to have her with us, again.

Acknowledged, but not present, are Eileen GIlday and Deborah Ramirez who couldn't be there last night. We missed you, ladies! See you next time! (Geez. I hope it's not something I wrote.)

PS - Mom. I know you're going to be royally P.O.'d as only a Queen Mother can, that all these ladies have read the book and you have not. But, I wanted you to read the real book (you know, not a typo-filled, mistake-ridden, no blurbs yet galley copy) and I only got those last week. Yes, I know, I haven't sent you one of those, either. And, yes, I know in desperation, you ended up ordering one on Amazon.

I'll be happy to sign it for you.

I've been book touring this past week, and just got home to this fabulous review in the Rocky Mountain News! They gave me a "Grade A." And why not? I did study awful hard. (So glad I don't have to cancel my subscription. Boulder Daily Camera, you've been warned... )

Heading out for a launch party, but please do check back soon for hysterical pictures of me and Elvis - united once more - at the Borders Town Square in Vegas. Have also been to LA. at the wonderful Flintridge Bookstore, where Bus Conversions Magazine provided a bus to tour! In a week, I head to Portland (Powell's), Marin (Book Passage), Oakland (A Great Good Place For Books), then Phoenix (Changing Hands). Will also do reading/signing and royal shtick closer to home at Tattered Cover and Boulder Bookstore.

Ladies, bring your boas!!

Now I have your attention! But, that really is the title of my Huffington Post article which ran today.

And, if you want to see my video of this incident (now, I REALLY have your attention), please go to my website, www.QueenOfTheRoadTheBook.com and click on the (yes, we're nude) picture of me and Tim in front of our bus on the left on the homepage.

I'm still on tour and will post the rest, soon, but for now, just wanted to share this incredibly fun interview I did on AM Northwest. I LOVE the hosts and just may tune in daily via internet when home in Colorado.

I mean, how can you resist a show that reports on naked bike riders - and in Denver, no less? I almost felt like my "teller" (as Tim might say) about naked karaoke was tame by comparison.

Short post - I'm still on tour. Back in Colorado late tomorrow. I'm exhausted, but happy. Have a bit of a sugar high on room service brownie, gelato and port. Yep, I know how to royally pamper myself after a full tour day.

Bliss now is a 9 am wake up call (rather than the 5:45 one I had today). Been in 3 cities in as many days. A bit discombobulating - no offense meant to Bobs, of course.)

It's been fun, exhausting and it ain't over yet:

Flew into Los Angeles on Monday night, got picked up by media escort extraordinaire, Ken Wilson, early the next morning. We headed over to the NPR studios so I could do a live interview for Nevada's KNPR (no, I'm not disoriented - I said NV NPR in Los Angeles. Bear with me.) The show is State of Nevada with Dave Berns and you can listen to a podcast of our intervew here.

Yep, I'm wearing a QUEEN OF THE ROAD shirt, because after this, Ken and I are off to do stock signings at all the area bookstores we can. A lot of people want to know, "Why do you need a media escort?" If you had my sense of direction (or rather, lack of one), you wouldn't ask. The last thing a publisher wants is to score some great show or signing for an author, only to have her get lost on the way because she's unfamiliar with a city (personally, I would have ended up in Utah). Media escorts will then take the author to do stock signings at bookstores in between bookings. Ken is so good and has been doing this so long, he's Janet Evanovich's personal media escort: when she travels on tour, he goes with her all around the U.S. He told me they even traveled by bus a few years ago. Janet doesn't do stock signings, though. Since stores carry around 150 copies of her books (sigh), she'd be at one all day. Instead, he just takes her to events and media.

That night, I did my very first reading/signing and royal shtick at the wonderful indie, Flintridge Bookstore and Coffeehouse in La Canada. The even was covered by the local paper, The Outlook.

That's Ken and me. Flintridge was quite queened-out, as you can see.

Part of the festivities included a tour of a bus conversion (in the parking lot - not the store - we're talkin' 40 feet, here!) provided by Bus Conversions magazine (our bus was the June centerfold! Now I can add Miss June to my crowned titles).

Then, onto Las Vegas for a signing (see? now you know why I did the Nevada NPR show) at the brand new Borders in Town Square Mall. My good buddy Alison was my media escort and took me around all day to do stock signings at various bookstores. (If you haven't been to Vegas in a while, it's grown so much - I really needed her. But, don't think she'll do the same for you. She's my personal media escort. Take that, Evanovich!) Prior to the signing, "Auntie A." and I had dinner with another good bud, Ginny. I love this picture of the two of them (that's Alison on the right):

Kristen Thomas was the event coordinator at the Borders and confided in me she was a bit nervous, since this was her first author event! I figured I wouldn't add to her (or my) jitters by confiding in her that this was only my second. But, Kristen handled it like a pro (I told her for my next book, I didn't care if by then she was promoted to manager of all the Nevada Borders - she was doing my event), even though there were some rather... let us say "unusual" aspects:

That's Kristen, me and Jeff Stanulis, Las Vegas' premiere Elvis. Tim and I had our vows renewed by him on our bus during our year-long QUEEN OF THE ROAD trip:

I invited Jeff to the signing and he did me one (or actually two) better by offering to serenade the crowd beforehand and even raffle off a chance to win a vow renewal right at the store!

Alison was smitten.

As was Ginny.

And the lucky couple? Norma and Bruce were... (you know I have to) all shook up:

But, so was the staff:

(That's Dean Austin, the General Manager in the center.)

As were all of us in the SRO crowd:

Viva Las Vegas (you know I had to do that, too).

More tour, soon...

Living in Boulder, you kind of have to believe in Karma. It's in our city charter. And, since I refuse to do yoga - also in the charter (what's the point in putting that much effort into doing something just to think about nothing, when I'm already so adept at thinking about nothing without making any effort at all? I mean, if my mind were any clearer, I'd be dead.) I sort of have to go along with the Karma thing: Boulder's not likely to let that slide, too. (At the farmer’s market, Tim swears he once saw the result of what occurs when Boulder’s penchant for political correctness collides with its extremist attitude toward health: eggs labeled “vegetarian fed, cage free and voluntary.”)

When Tim and I were in wintering in "lovely" Modesto late last year, Karma intervened (no, not when we got stuck in the mud. What I'm talking about was a good thing that happened. Geez.) Since I thought we'd only be gone twelve weeks (yes, wishful thinking on my part) and I really and truly (really and truly) drink gallons of Celestial Seasonings various delectible flavors of Green Teas at home, I thought I'd brought enough with me. Not so much for five months away. Since we don't live far from their store in Boulder, I usually go there about twice a year (roughly equivalent to how often I'd leave the house) to buy the teas in bulk. When I ran out of tea in Modesto, I went on the Celestial Seasonings website for the first time and discovered... they have a book club! In partnership with my publisher! Well... what else could I do but ask if they would consider a local author. The rest is queenly history.

But, Celestial Seasonings has done so much more than simply select QUEEN OF THE ROAD for its Adventure At Every Turn Book Club, which would certainly have been wonderful in and of itself. However, Celestial is doing some incredibly additional things for this local author of theirs:

Wednesday, July 2nd, Celestial Seasonings is having me over in the a.m. (and you know how I must feel about them to get up so early) to discuss and sign copies of QUEEN OF THE ROAD for their employees. (Obviously, this is a company that treats its employees well.) Then, between 2-:3:30 pm, I'll be in their ultra-fabulous gift shop in Boulder (it really is. I love going there, not just for the wonderful teas and smells, but the creams, lotions, apparel, treats and books - and I don't even mean mine - gifts, etc) to sign copies of QUEEN OF THE ROAD for customers. Sir Tim shall park the Bus (With a Will of Its Own) in Celestial's parking lot to give tours of the Royal Rig to anyone who would like one. (I think next to actually driving it, that's his favorite thing in the world to do.)

But, wait! There's more: Since every chapter of QUEEN OF THE ROAD begins with an original martini recipe commemorating one the many disasters on our trip, Celestial Seasonings, in its infinite wisdom, asked me to come up with a tea-tini recipe which they are promoting on their website and through their book clubs! I had a lot of fun concocting it - what I remember of the process, at least (peach schnapps was involved). Furthermore, forthwith and foresure, Celestial Seasonings has also launched a contest for anyone to develop his or her own QUEEN OF THE ROAD iced-tea drink recipe for fabulous prizes. (Grand prize is a $500 American Express gift card, a signed copy of QUEEN OF THE ROAD and a $100 gift basket straight from the Celestial Seasonings shop!) I wonder if I can enter? But more importantly, can I knight an entire company? I'll have to do some research on that and get back to you.

Wait a minute. I'm Queen of the Road. I can do whatever the heck I please.

Celestial Seasonings, I dub thee... Sir Celestial! You have the eternal and undying thanks of this Sovereign. (Cheers and thanks to my royal publisher, House of Random, as well!)

I think whoever made the following itinerary must have the same sense of direction as I: Fly into San Francisco Sunday morning, then high-tail it to Corte Madera for a 1 pm reading/signing and royal shtick at the fabulous Book Passage. Book Passage is a wonderful bookstore and sort of a Mecca for any writer, especially travel ones.

One of my best buddies over the last twenty years (!), Joanne (who is mentioned in the book and still actually speaks to me), drove up all the way from Capitola just to see and introduce me to her two-year-old, gorgeous daughter (in crown and princess outfit, natch. That girl is learning early the proper attire for Royal Audiences - kudos, Joanne!), Sophia. We took pictures and somehow, they didn't come out. I am way bummed. But, you can at least see Joanne if you check out her website and her amazing organization, Turtles Together. Joanne is an incredible psychologist and her program in Mexico "builds cultural connections between our children and all of marine life." Unfortunately, Turtles Together will be in jeopardy if no grant money is forthcoming, so anyone interested in helping, please head over to her website.

Then, I headed out to Portland on a 5 pm flight. (No, that doesn't sound too bad - yet. Impatient, aren't we?) I did AM Northwest Monday during the (when else) am (you can watch the interview here) then went all around town with Marilyn, my fabulous media escort (who had the misfortune of informing me there is no In 'n' Out Burger in Portland) to sign stock at various bookstores.

Imagine my surprise when we happened into Twenty-Third Avenue Books, "Northwest Portland's definitive bookstore" and saw QUEEN OF THE ROAD in the window! That's the owner, Stephanie Griffin and me posing in front. You can just make the cover out over her right shoulder. Thank you, Stephanie! (It's a wonderful, 28-year-old store, although obviously, Stephanie has owned it far less - two to be exact.)

Then, that night, off to Powell's Books for another reading/signing and royal shtick. (You can't tell from the picture, but there were two dozen people! Maybe they didn't realize I'm not really royalty. Please don't tell them - or, anyone else -especially Tim. I can imagine the payback that would await me.)

That's me in the boa and tiara, shticking it to the crowd. (Oh, please. Don't we know each other well enough by now to know I had to?)

This event was rather special, as well, and not just because it's Powell's: Two of my online buddies from Eons live in the area and came on over. Sarah is the moderator of the RV forum and has been a wonderful support for QUEEN OF THE ROAD. Carol White (along with her husband Phil) has written the book, Live Your Road Trip Dream. For anyone contemplating your own queenly (or kingly) trip in a motorhome, Carol and Phil's book is a must-read on the nuts and bolts of everything you need to do to make your journey as smooth as possible. (Sure wish Tim and I had known about this book before we started out.)

That's Sarah on the left (note her QUEEN OF THE ROAD shirt? I mean, talk about supportive. She said before the talk, people wanted to know if she worked for me or was "just a fan." No "just" about it, in this royal's book!) Carol on the right with her fabulous book.

Here's Miles (you know I love that name) the event coordinator and me striking a pose after the signing:

You can tell we all had a lot of fun.

That night, contemplating a 7:40 am flight, what else could I do but have a leisurely port and chocolate dessert? (Fine. I had TWO desserts. Only one port, though. Doesn't that count for anything with you?) All this and more at the Heathman Hotel's fabulous Tea Court. (Was everyone else just having tea? Silly them.) I'd had dinner there the night before (filet mignon, beet salad and a local pinot - thanks House of Random!) upon arrival from San Fran Sunday night, so knew they had a wonderful Reisling (that was the before dinner drink - what am I, a Philistine?). Unfortunately, when the waitress approached, after my fabulous (and very exhausting) Monday with the standard, "Is there anything I can - " I cut her off with one word. You guessed it: "Reisling." By the time she brought my first dessert, I had appologized (without slurring) and she took this shot of one very happy author:

Please note: Our friend Jim, also mentioned in the book (which he just finished, noting in typical Jim fashion: "Guess I'll have to pull the retainer off that attorney") is the terrible influence who introduced us to port. In the spirit of full disclosure (and fear of his attorney) I must admit the double dessert, however, was strictly my idea.

OK, last stop (for now): Back to San Francisco. (See why a directionally challenged person had to have made these arrangements?) I got picked up by another wonderful media escort (I have yet to meet any other kind), Martha, and we traipsed around the City, signing stock (and having lunch at In 'n' Out!)...

My usual Double Ds at In 'n' Out. Martha was suitably impressed.

... until my 2 pm radio interview with the fabulous Gil Gross on KGO's Gil Gross Show. Gil was kind enough to say he remembered our interview from my first book tour for I KNOW YOU REALLY LOVE ME. Truly, especially kind of him after I blurted out, "My mom and I used to listen to you all the time on WOR when I was a kid in New York City! Um... er... you must have been, like 12!" He immediately called out to the producer (we had not yet gone on air), "Great. Another one who remembers listening to me with her mother." He was laughing, thank goodness.

I so enjoyed the interview and the call-in questions afterwards. Everyone was reminiscing about their own road trips. (One involved a rather interesting episode in a car which the father refused to stop, causing the mother to get stuck in a bucket, despite an attempted hair brush rescue. Don't believe me? Fine. Listen to the interview.) I even got some wonderful emails from listeners after the show.

Finally, yet another reading/signing and royal shtick, this time at the "Girls Bookstore" A Great Good Place For Books in Oakland. This was another fun event with tons of interesting questions and I hated to leave. But, Martha had orders to get me back to the hotel...

... and I flew back to Colorado the next morning for a much deserved (I'll be the judge of that, bub) Royal Rest.

Yesterday, Tim and I spent the day at the ultra-fabulous Celestial Seasonings. Why is the company ultra-fabulous? You might think it's simply because it makes wonderful teas (not to mention because it picked QUEEN OF THE ROAD as its Adventures At Every Turn book club selection this summer). After spending the day there, I can tell you it's an ultra-fabulous company because of so much more: What a great place to work! I was told this again and again by the employees, although it was easy to tell - the whole ambience of the place, don'tcha know. (Yeah, yeah. The teas are the best. I know this. That's why they're the only thing I drink - before 5pm.)

Herewith, our Celestial day:

It started with a reading/signing/royal shtick in the cafeteria. Celestial Seasonings, in its infinite wisdom, purchased 300 copies of QUEEN OF THE ROAD for employees and their families. Now, isn't that a company that cares about the welfare of its workers? (And, I'm not just saying that because it was my book purchased. No place I've ever worked for has bought me any book! Uh... not you, House of Random. You made me a book - and a Queen - after all.)

Prior to the signing, I handed out boas to the employees in attendence - actually just the women. (The men, not so much - not secure enough, eh fellas?) It wasn't that I was being nice (really, don't we know each other well enough by now?) I just didn't want to feel overdressed myself - it was 10 o'clock in the morning, after all. (Sorry for all the feathers shedding all over the place. If you end up with one in your tea, you'll know why.)

Then, David Ziegert introduced me to the crowd...

... who, you can see, was already excited. (I had to remind myself they make tea. I mean, they probably get this excited... er, caffinated... every morning.)

This is me shticking. Yeah, I get into it. What do you want from me?

But, the audience seemed to, as well. (Maybe no one bothered to tell them I'm not real royalty?)

Afterwards, they had lots of questions about our story. My favorite was, "Since you're planning to sell your house and full time in the bus, where will you park?" I told them, "In the Celestial Seasonings parking lot, of course" and Dave did nod his approval, so we're all set! Hope they sell lawn gnomes in the Tea Shop.

Then, I signed all their books. They kept asking if I was getting writers' cramp. Were they kidding? Any potential pain was totally medicated by the adrenaline buzz I got soaking up their energy. (I'm way too lazy to produce my own. So, I soak. So sue me.)

By 11 am, Tim had parked the bus in front of Celestial Seasonings to give employee tours.

Then, Tim and I were treated to a fabulous lunch in Dave's office, with various of the wonderful staff. Part of the fabulous QUEEN OF THE ROAD promotion Celestial Seasonings is doing involves a recipe contest (what are you waiting for? Click that link and enter for "prizes fit for a Queen.") For dessert, they served an utterly divine Chocolate Raspberry Bliss Mousse made with their Chocolate Raspberry Bliss Herbal Tea (just reading that makes you sigh, right? Just wait 'til you try it.) The recipe (which I just printed off their website) is in the archives of the Celestial Seasonings Adventure At Every Turn Book Club. I can't wait for Tim to make it!

This is Dave, Tim and me. (Note our waaaaay cool official badges!)

And, with Jennifer and Tracie who were responsible for picking QUEEN OF THE ROAD for the book club in the first place! (Eternal thanks! You are now, officially, Ladies of the Realm.)

So, what to do... what to do after lunch. We had a little while before the signing in the Tea Shop. Hmmm....

Months ago, when we knew we'd be spending the day at Celestial Seasonings, but before we knew the itinerary, Tim (aka Project Nerd: Domestic Superhero, for those who haven't read QUEEN OF THE ROAD, and why haven't you?) informed me, "I'm going to get them to give me a private tour." I responded, "You can't ask them to do that!" But, Tim was adament. Fortunately, it didn't come to that, as when we got the day's agenda, it actually said they would be happy to give us a private tour, or we could just rest for a bit. I informed Tim about the offer, saying, "So, I told them we'd be tired and just wanted to rest." A divorce nearly ensued. Here's Tim in PN heaven with the adorable (and very patient) Jessica:

Afterwards, I headed to the Celestial Seasonings Tour Center where I signed books for visitors to the tea shop (one woman was heard to tsk tsk as she read the back cover, "They went to a nudist RV park!") and the public tour. (If you've never taken this tour of the world's most advanced tea production site, it's a must: The mint room alone is worth the price of admission - which is zero. Oh, and you also get free tea samples. Really - what are you waiting for?) While I signed books, Tim gave public tours of the bus:

Talking about the love of his life is probably Tim's favorite thing in the world.

Then, as if the company hadn't done enough for us, they gave us each presents: A http://www.homedepot.comHome Depot gift certificate for Tim and a spa package for me. (Someone there obviously already read the book.)

All that was left before we left, was to exact a promise that if a position as Company Shrink ever opens up (doubtful - everyone seems so happy, but still: It doesn't hurt to ask), Celestial Seasonings will hire one of us.

Last week, Tim and I traveled (unfortunately, not by bus, but via United Airlines - gee, our bus never charged us for baggage) to New York. The most important thing I learned was that you can actually meet people you’ve developed a relationship with online and the internet won’t explode or anything! Who knew? (So, why didn’t you tell me? I would have done this way before now. Thanks a lot, people!)

While in New York, we stayed at Chez Orion in Queens. I’d highly recommend it, except you can’t get room service – unless you travel with your own personal “man” like I always do. (Look, most royals have several mans. I just make do with the one, OK?)

While there, we took an Amtrak train (yes, Tim was in heaven)...

... to Philadelphia to have dinner with Polly Kahl and Robin Altman:

Robin is a gifted comedian (that’s why I hate her – it’s really not because of her shoes, which I still think are inferior to mine, although that’s small consolation) doing stand-up at Helium that night and I just had to see her perform.

(That's Robin about to go on.)

She’s also written the book, Shrink Rap: An Irreverant Take on Child Psychiatry. Irreverant is putting it mildly, and really child psychiatry could use the rap. It’s a hysterical book and I highly recommend it. If you ever get a chance to see her do stand-up, I’d highly recommend that, as well.

Us 3 Shrinks

Polly, a therapist, has just completed a memoir and is going to start the whole agent search thing, soon. (If that won’t make you hire your own therapist, I don’t know what will. Too bad Robin doesn’t see adults.) She’s a wonderful writer. (Again, not so much with the shoes which is probably why we got along so well.)

(That's Polly and me, pondering the Meaning Of Life as only therapists can. We decide it's imponderable, and drown our sorrows in our minimums waiting for Robin to go on.)

Thus bolstered by the knowledge that the internet wouldn’t necessarily explode if virtual friends met in the flesh, I took a huge risk on behalf of the entire universe and met seven (count ‘em, seven) women I’d only known online before last week. (And no, taking a chance like that with all your lives wasn’t presumptuous at all – it’s something royals do all the time, we just don’t tell you about it, so deal with it.)

First, I met my agent, the fabulous Mollie Glick, as well as her associates for subrights at the Jean V. Naggar Agency (who also have their own clients), Jessica Regel (Jessica, I’d change that second “e” to an “a” if I were you) and Jennifer Weltz.

(Jessica, Jennifer, me and Mollie.)

Mollie and I then headed to The Eatery in Hell’s Kitchen, to meet with my fabulous Queen Team at Broadway Books, editor (and just promoted to editor-in-chief) Stacy Creamer, Marketing Manager, Julie Sills and publicist, Ellen Folan. We had a wonderful, long lunch and I even got to learn some personal things about them. (And, no. I won’t be dishing, here. What do you want from me? I want to write another book.)

Stacy, me, Julie and Ellen.

Finally, I tempted fate yet again, by meeting fellow blogger, author and all-around gorgeous gal (well, OK. I’m only gorgeous if you squint just right), Ann Leary, whose wonderful, witty novel, Outtakes From A Marriage was published the same day as Queen of the Road. We met at a French pastry shop on the Upper East Side and she made me try a fabulous puff of a chocolate thing – I may never forgive her for that, as I guarantee, I’ll never be able to find one in Boulder. Just as well, because between that and the gelato shop we discovered near Chez Orion, well… let’s just say I won’t be going to another nudist RV park anytime, soon.

(Notice I "forgot" to have a picture taken of Ann and me. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar, but not when you have to stand next to gorgeous her.)

On our last day in the Big Apple, I did my usual rounds of signing stock at various bookstores. This is the only place I've ever been asked for ID before signing books. I'm not kidding. I told the gal, "I'll do you one better" and flipped to my author photo:

In case she didn't quite get the resemblance, I added, "I'm the one on the right."

Finally, we met my cousin, Doug (who, although mentioned in Queen of the Road, still talks to me. Well, he's always been too nice of a guy) in the city to see an Off-Broadway musical, Adding Machine. It won tons of awards and got great reviews. Perhaps our expectations were too high, but I think not: It sucked. (Look, I'm not a critic, just a writer, so that's all I can say.)

The second it was over, Doug leaned over to me and said, "I guess I'll have to be making this up to you for a long time." (We're a Jewish family. He knows how we operate.) Fortunately for Doug, Tim's from Reno: He liked it.

First, excerpts from the review (then the backstory) in the August issue (which just came out while I was in New York):

"Beneath its fun and frothy exterior, you'll find in this wild ride across America's highways and byways a lovely portrait of a marriage that treats its ups and downs with humor and grace."

And,

"Orion regales us with Americana of all sorts as she chronicles her journey with laugh-out-loud-funny tales of the many bus mishaps and unusual situations she and her husband encounter in their year on the road. Best of all, though, is watching her transformation from a materialistic couch potato into someone who learns to appreciate experiencing life to its fullest."

Back in April, when my publisher told me that QUEEN OF THE ROAD had been selected by the book editor of Elle Magazine as as a Readers’ Jury pick for the month of August, I thought it was a big deal. I mean, why wouldn't one?

Indeed. Unless, of course, the "one" were my husband. When I informed the Royal Consort about this honor being bestowed upon his Sovereign and Wife, he screwed up his face and asked, "L Magazine? What is that, a lesbian thing?"

The dear man had never heard of Elle. Well. We, of course, promptly set him, er... straight on that score. And, We could not resist adding, "My publicist is still pitching the lesbian magazines. But, they're slow and like to take their time."

On another note, my podcasts are up on Podcast Alley:

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-7468dbce9c92915dc2ec8d15f645d8e7}

You can also listen to them directly on my website (my favorite is #6: Mobile Martinis, natch).

And, a final note: I'm doing an author chat on Library Thing for the next two weeks. Come on over.

For the past month or so, I've been "invited" - and sometimes even invited (as in, truly invited, like in person and all, which means I have to get dressed, but, oh, well) - to book groups around the country to discuss QUEEN OF THE ROAD. It's been tons 'o fun. Herewith, highlights from one such book group:

My first one (other than my own book group, which I blogged about already and which, as I said, didn't count because... well, really. They kinda had to read the thing, didn't they?) was with the "Naples Divas Book Club." With a name like that, I just knew they'd be bunches of fun. Judge for yourself:

Starting on the left, going around the table: Nancy Siegal, Karyn Conrath, Sue Bankosky, (holding QUEEN OF THE ROAD, so she has a special place in my heart) Joyce Thornton, Tanya Oosterhous, Kristy Kiernan, Pat Kumicich, Betty Keigler. Terry Knight and Ellen Schmidt.

Ellen is the one who initially contacted me about "appearing." I'm so glad she did. Not only was it a fun evening, but I made a new writer friend, Kristy Kiernan. Kristy is an amazingly talented novelist. For her first novel, Catching Genius, she was hailed by Sara Gruen (and what book club hasn't read her book? Oh, fine. Water For Elephants, people!) as a "writer to watch." Publisher's Weekly gave it a rave review. In addition to being a gifted novelist, Kristy is just a sweetheart. You'll have to take my word for the latter, but don't for the former: Her new novel, Matters of Faith, which just came out last week, has already been deemed an IndieNext Notable Title. Yeah, I know. What in the world does that mean? Well... it means that independent bookstores all over the country have weighed in and LOVE her book. My copy just arrived from Amazon - here's the link. I (and my book club) can't wait to read it.

Anyway, Kristy got into the Divas because they did Catching Genius when it came out. She liked the group so much, she asked to join it. (Sounds a bit like that razon commercial, huh?)

Now, about that cake. Sometime after Ellen contacted me, but before the actual group, Kristy had "friended" me on Facebook. The day before the book group met, I got notification of a Facebook "gift": Kristy had baked me a cake. OK. Yanno, she had seemed so, like, normal and all before that. I mean... yeah, I'm on Facebook, but it's kinda lame, in my opinion, to be "sending" people virtual "gifts." So, Kristy baked me a cake. Fine, Kristy... I've built you a city! Whatever.

Then, during the group (which I attended by speakerphone), Kristy shouted out that everyone was enjoying my cake. Too bad I'm not licensed to prescribe in Florida. Whatever.

Oh, my. It was only when I got the picture I realized: Kristy is an accomplished baker and actually had baked a cake for the book group - a QUEEN OF THE ROAD cake complete with a bus! (She later informed me she never jokes about cake. Smart girl.)

That's Ellen holding the cake, with Kristy standing justifiably proud of her creation.

The book groups I've "attended" have been ultra-fabulous. It's wonderful to connect with women all over the country - and even make some online friends in the process. I'll be blogging about more of the groups, soon. For now, I'll just say that the Naples Divas Book Club may have spoiled me for other book groups. As for Kristy - she's an accomplished novelist, apparently fabulous baker and even writes a fashion column. I think I hate her.

Way back in June, I was going around the Front Range (for those of you who don't live in Colorado, I'm not saying we have two stoves. Geez.) signing stock of QUEEN OF THE ROAD. As I was talking to the manager of the Borders in Park Meadows Mall, a woman overhead us and said the book sounded interesting. Never shy about making a sale, I quickly closed the deal (to the delight of the manager, I might add), offering that if her book club read QUEEN, Her Royal Personage would attend.

So, Sue's book club happened to be the first I went to in person (other than my own, but as I've already said, they had no choice now, did they?). Upon my arrival, I was delighted to see that Sue had printed out several of the martini recipes (have I mentioned that one begins each chapter to commemorate whatever disaster has befallen us on the road?) and hung them over her kitchen island. She had also procured the necessary fixin's, so I knew this would be a particularly well oiled (and lubed) group. And it was. See for yourself:

From left to right: Front - Bonnie, Cheryl, Sue, Me, Lisa, Mary Ellen
Back - Cathy, Anne, Laurie, Shelly and Sue (the hostess).

While I do especially love doing book groups by phone (the whole staying at home in my PJs thing - did you really think I was exaggerating?), doing them in person has a few added benefits I hadn't considered. Yeah, yeah, it's nice to hang with a group of women and eat fabulous food (like, WOW, Sue!), and drink fabulous drinks (ditto), but... this group actually gave me a gift! I mean, as if it wasn't enough of a gift to read my book and invite me over to discuss it.

So, what was the present? A lovely bottle of wine that I wish I could show you, but is long gone. (Surprised? Guess you haven't read my book.) However, I can show you the ultra-fab accoutrements it came with - QUEEN OF THE ROAD luggage tags:

How cool is that?

OK. I'll tell you. Too cool to waste on the few times I use luggage. They now hang on my purses. (Yes, that's a Chanel and a Kate Spade. I got them on Ebay eons ago. What do you want from me?) Sue was kind enough to get me two, so when I change purses, while I may have to dig everything out of one to put in another, I don't have to untie the luggage tag. Only a woman would know to be so thoughtful.

What a wonderful group of women! (And not just 'cause of the presents. Really.) I wish they were a little closer to my home, because I'm sure I'd be foisting myself on them monthly to discuss other books. (Although judging by the standard set by Sue, the first time I hosted I'd probably be kicked out - unless I got Tim to cook.)

Thanks so much again, ladies!

Actually, I've seen his picture, and he's neither big nor fat. But, he is a mensch. How do I know? Glad you asked.

I recently got the following email from him, quite out of the blue: "Dear Doreen, This is psychologist/crime novelist Jonathan Kellerman. During a recent vacation, I read QUEEN OF THE ROAD. Several times, I found myself laughing out loud – and drawing quizzical looks from my wife. Funny book. Congrats. Best, JK."

I don't know Jonathan Kellerman and I don't know anyone who knows him. (At first, I suspected my mother put him up to it, somehow. After all, she's the one who announced she was going to give a copy of QUEEN OF THE ROAD to her doorman because, "His cousin is David Letterman's floor manager!" Oy. But, after a thorough interrogation that would do JK proud, I can state beyond a reasonable doubt that she did not - put JK up to it, that is. The David Letterman thing... not so sure.) I don't even know how he found my book.

Mensch point one: He's such a mensch, did he identify himself by saying, "This is mega-bestselling novelist..." etc? No. He did not.

Mensch point two: It's a huge deal for a mega-bestselling writer like him to reach out like that. But, was that enough for me? No, it was not. (And, here is where I lose several mensch points for myself. If you get the feeling I don't care, you'd be right. What do you want from me?) My response (after gushing about how much of a fan I was and now, always will be): "As a crime novelist (not so much due to your being a psychologist) you should know that no good deed goes unpunished." I then proceded to ask for a blurb.

Blurbs are even bigger deals for any, let alone mega-bestselling writers. As a recent essay in the New York Times Book Review explained, "Book blurbs are a tangled mass of friendships, rivalries, favors traded and debts repaid, not always in good faith." Since I researched all 113 agents who rejected QUEEN OF THE ROAD (not because it sucked, people. Haven't I told you before? The common refrain, "I love it. I just don't think I can sell it."), I have a pretty good working knowledge of who represents whom in the writing biz. So now, when I pick up a book I'm considering reading and look at the blurbs, I have to chuckle thinking, "No wonder she blurbed him. They have the same [fill in the blank: editor/agent/publicist]." Even lowly me has been asked to blurb a few first-time authors (though obviously not from their agent/editor/publisher - after all, they would know better).

JK (yeah, I'm on an initials-only basis with a mega-bestselling author, so deal with it!) had no reason to reach out to me, no debt to settle, and did not ask anything in return. (Silly him. I would have had Tim do his and Faye's laundry for the rest of their lives.)

So, what was JK's response?

"A charming, insightful and – most important – hilarious book that evokes the best of Bill Bryson and David Sedaris, but spotlights the unique voice of a gifted memoirist."

What a mensch - thrice over.

His new book, Bones: An Alex Delaware Novel, is already below 1000 on Amazon and it's not even coming out until October 21st. His wife, Faye Kellerman, had her new novel, The Mercedes Coffin, debut last week at some insanely low (that's good, folks) Amazon number. So, not that they need my help, but if you want to support a mensch...

(My copies of both just arrived and I can't wait to delve in.)

- DO. (Yes, you may be on an initials-only basis with me. I'm a mensch that way - and only that way.)