Written from a truck stop near Winslow, AZ (it’s not as romantic as the Eagles’ song would have you believe, believe me).
We had our last In ‘n’ Out yesterday. In ‘n’ Out (for those of you sadly ignorant of the boisterous burgers) is a west coast thing. We’ve been visiting our dear friends, Jim and Lisa in Prescott, AZ (rhymes with “biscuit” we’ve been told… and told… and told). Lisa doesn’t eat beef (I’d make a snide remark that this makes no sense, since her reasoning has to do with the way the animals are treated, yet she does eat chicken. However, since I don’t eat pork or shellfish, even though I haven’t been kosher for years, I don’t really have a snarky - or sensible - leg to stand on, here). So, Tim and I snuck out for a quick lunch.
(Also note I have my burgers with cheese on them. This is known in Jewish circles as a “double whammy.” If I added bacon, I’d call it a “triple whammy” – if I survived the lightning bolt.)
Our experience was marred.
Since I’ve been doing low carb, I don’t eat hamburger buns. That also means I don’t get a shake or fries (unlike my gee, how-much-good-fortune-does-one-man-really-deserve-he's-also-married-to-me-after-all, naturally thin husband). I ordered first.
“I’ll have [note: I said, “I’ll have”] two double-doubles, protein style, extra onions.” The young man behind the counter then asked, “Fries or a shake?” To which I replied, “No.” Then, he turned to Tim and asked, “Would you like fries or a shake?”
I guess he thought I couldn’t possibly eat two burgers. I guess he was wrong. I set him straight. (I know you know I did.)
Yet, there was to be another hitch in our last luscious lunch.
One of the guys who cleans up the customer tables was, shall we say, a bit talkative. You could hear him schmoozing from across the room. I don’t know about you, but when I’m eatin’ so fine, I want to concentrate on my food. Besides, he was so damn perky. (I’m kinda like Lou Grant in that respect.) So, as he made his way across the joint, pausing at each and every table to chat, Tim and I resolved not to make eye contact with the guy. Alas, the table next to us tried that. It didn’t work. So, just as he turned our way, what could I do but shoot Tim a distraught look and cry, “I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me!”
We ate the rest of our lunch in peace.
Comments (8)
Wow, a laugh out loud punch line on a blog. I'm impressed.
Jerry
Posted by jerrywaxler | March 9, 2008 8:41 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 20:41
Thanks, Jerry. (Somehow I knew that title would rope in the guys.)
Posted by Doreen | March 9, 2008 8:46 PM
Posted on March 9, 2008 20:46
I had to post to give you credit now, because when I use that one I may not remember where I got it from.
Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by Joelle | March 10, 2008 6:18 AM
Posted on March 10, 2008 06:18
FINALLY! Now I'll know what to do next time someone tries to interrupt the flow of food to my mouth =)
It may be sad but there really is a fine line between cheerful service and ruining a good meal.
Posted by Ice Cream | March 15, 2008 4:06 PM
Posted on March 15, 2008 16:06
Good save there! Now I'm hungry for In & Out. I'll blame QOTR for the 2000 calories if I turn in there tomorrow. :-)
BTW, can you tell me what animal style is? -is that the burger without the bun? I need to know once and for all...
Posted by WriterKat | March 17, 2008 12:38 AM
Posted on March 17, 2008 00:38
I have no idea why, but "protein style" is without the bun, whereas "animal style" is with sauteed onions. You can also get it "animal protein style."
But, you can't get onion rings. Wah!
Posted by Doreen | March 17, 2008 11:13 AM
Posted on March 17, 2008 11:13
A good Double Double goes a long way to making me smile. I love being a carnivore.
Posted by Jack | March 17, 2008 3:06 PM
Posted on March 17, 2008 15:06
I love In-n-Out. They make a mean grilled cheese with grilled onions. Their food is divine. I wonder why it's not on the east coast... Hmm.
I would've done the same thing to ward off chatereena, so funny.
Posted by katie schwartz | March 17, 2008 11:32 PM
Posted on March 17, 2008 23:32