What Do You Want From Me? by Doreen Orion

A Lovely Fayetteville Book Club

2011-12-05T03:09:29Z

When Rachel first emailed me about her Fayetteville, GA book club, she said, "We laugh a lot at book club, drink too much at book club, and treasure our time together once a month." Well, I just knew I had to "meet" those gals. From left to right: Camber, Charlotte, Rachel, Val, Meghan and Becky. Wini left right before they took the photo. They all live in same neighborhood and know each other because their kids go to same school. They've been meeting monthly for 4 years, always in each other's homes and always for cocktails. Hmmm... Headwater High, Prevost Princess and a Hurlatini? Very tastey looking, if I do say so myself. I especially loved the fact that these lovely Southern ladies heard about the book from Rachel's boss, who read it at her book club. Y'all know how I appreciate Queenly word-of-mouth! Thanks so much, ladies for reading Queen of the Road and inviting me to your group!

A Very Considerate (and Loving) Book Club

2011-11-11T23:58:20Z

I've "done" a few hundred book clubs by now, but this had never happened before: Three separate members contacted me to send bookplates for the group/send a bookplate to the hostess/to call in. I knew I had to meet these incredibly thoughtful ladies! From left to right, Meral, Pat, Cynthia, Judy, Jayne, Valerie, Patty, Amanda, Jackie. Three members were out of town, Kathy, Terry, and Donna. The gals in this Connecticut club have known each other almost 20 years, although only started meeting for books two years ago, at Meral's instigation. They originally got to know each other through their kids and friends of friends. Now, they still do a lot of things together, but my favorite (of course) is going house to house during Xmas, drinking.... Oh yeah, there's the seeing each other's decorations things, too. Don't worry, they rent a van. Short of having your own driver constantly on call as us Royals do, I'd say that's the next best thing. But, I suppose, the very best thing they told me about their club is, "We love each other very much." Ladies, it was obvious and such a pleasure meeting you all. Thanks so much for inviting me to you book club to call in about Queen of the Road.

The Mary Anne King Memorial Book Group

2011-08-28T16:16:03Z

Here's a wonderful book club story: This book club at the Columbiana Public Library in Alabama has been meeting for 11 years or so, ever since Mary Ann King, a local woman in the community, founded it. Sadly, she died two years ago of ovarian cancer, but her book club lives on. There's even a special book collection in the library to commemorate this avid reader. The lovely gals in the club also informed me that Mary Ann "knew everyone in the state of Alabama." Sounds like the kind of woman I wish I'd known! Pictured left to right: Teresa, Elizabeth, Jane, Nancy, Duffy, Beth, & Susan Note the PJs. Nice going, ladies! I hope none of you got pulled over for anything on your drive back. (PJs: hard to explain to the officers. Trust me.) Note also that Jane, the library's director, has got quite the tiara going. I may need to go shopping, after all. (How did you know I wear my tiara to bed? I don't recall mentioning that in my book.) The book club picked Queen of the Road as part of their summer travel theme, and who am I to argue? Thanks so much for inviting me to your book club, ladies. Next time we're in Alabama, I promise we'll see more of your state than the Unclaimed Luggage Store. (You've sold me on the coast. Know anyone with a long driveway?)

Spies Public Library

2011-08-24T15:22:13Z

As these lovely ladies in the Spies Public Library book club told me about their equally lovely town, I found myself wishing I could teleport on over. The library is in a historic building, on a beautiful marina, right on Green Bay in Menominee in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Seriously, check out their fantastic, historic library . And of course, a picture of the lovely ladies, themselves: Back Row - Jan, Gail, Carol, Val, Marlene, Sandy and Ardyce Front Row - Cheryl, Carole, Sue, Gail, Gail, Connie and Pam I do adore when a book club gets into it! Although a little early in the day for martinis (and they were meeting in a library, after all) the ladies made do with punch in their martini glasses. And of course, it is never too early for a tiara. (That's why I wear mine to bed.) As you all know, I love calling in to book clubs and answering questions. Sometimes though, I end up hearing a wonderful story that even warms my cynical heart. And, that's what happened at this book club when one of the ladies told of her own RV trip, decades ago: She had always wanted to do such a journey, so she just did, leaving her husband at home and taking her two young children cross country in a 35 foot rig. She needed some assistance when she started out, and a trucker stopped to lend a hand. Afterwards, without her knowledge, he put out the word to all his fellow truckers on his CB radio that they should all help out the woman traveling alone with two kids - complete with her license and vehicle description. It wasn’t until she got to California that she found out what he’d done. Tim and I call that "road magic." (That's opposed to the "road tragic" which we, unfortunately, are much more likely to encounter.) Thank you for inviting me to your book club, lovely ladies of Menominee!

WINE

2011-08-19T14:51:26Z

I realize you never know with me if you're going to get an entry about a robust wine or whine, but I'm happy to say that this time, it's the former (for now). I called in to the WINE (Women In Novels Enlightened) Book Club in Seattle, WA earlier this week. In keeping with the roughing it aspect of my book (and you know I don't mean no Holiday Inn), this lovely group met in a very outdoorsy spot - the courtyard of a condo complex. Just my style, ladies. Bravo! They've been meeting for almost a year and already sound like a very cohesive group: From Left: Beth, Jean, Kimberly, Tina & Ashley (not pictured Tanya, the photo taker). That's some nice condo complex, Jean! Thanks so much for inviting me to your WINE book club, ladies. I very much enjoyed our discussion and really appreciated your enthusiasm for Queen of the Road. (Especially now that I see from the picture, it wasn't alcohol-fueled.) Queen On!

Young Indian Cultural Group Mothers Book Club

2011-05-30T18:58:09Z

As Kristin said, "Yet another little town you haven't heard of." Let me explain. Late in 2009, I called into Kristin's other book club in Williston Park, NY. Turns out, although I'd never heard of it, it's only 10 min from Great Neck, where I spent nearly my entire youth. The Young Indian Cultural Group Mothers Book Club meets not too far away, in Albertson, New York, which I hadn't heard of, either. (What was I doing in my youth? Don't ask.) Although I am your Queen of the Road, I also consider myself a Queen of Multitasking, so I especially loved hearing that this book club, which is in its 4th year, started at a cultural society center where the kids took lessons. Rather than just sit around and wait, the moms decided to have a book club while their kids were in class. Kristin, you may invite me to call in to any book club of yours, any time, as you clearly have fabulous taste (no, not just in the books you pick - that goes without saying - but in the ladies of your book clubs!) If asked again, I shall look forward to not only another wonderful discussion, but also learning about yet another town I should have heard of.

ADHD Housewives of D.C.

2011-03-27T22:11:41Z

That's Davidson County, North Carolina, folks. And, that's the name - for now - of the book club I recently called into. It may become The Upper D.C. Housewives. (ADHD refers to how they always seem to jump from topic to topic. It's not my diagnosis, or anything.) Which name do you all prefer? Dawn, Christy, Lisa, Michele, Jamie (hiding in back), Christa, Jennifer (kneeling), Beth (standing), Evden, Lauri, and Alexis The book club was actually in Welcome, NC and let me assure you the name fit them very well. Besides, how could I not love a book club that introduces me to a new martini recipe? I'll let Jamie explain: I called the drink a "Hillbilly Martini" because the glasses were plastic from the Dollar Tree! Below is the recipe I used for what I'm going to call "Martini Punch" which we were sipping during our phone conversation - VERY tasty! This recipe is just right for 10 or 11 martinis. The recipe was actually called "Paradise #3 Punch" which I found by googling "drinks with pink lemonade vodka". Since I added the stuff about flavoring the rim, I figured it'd be ok to change the name! - Chill glasses. - Slice a lime and rub around rim of each glass. Combine colored sugar crystals (I used hot pink) with granulated sugar. Dip each glass rim in the combined sugar. - Combine 3-1/2 cups chilled Sprite, 2-1/2 cups chilled Sunny-D Orange Juice, and 1-1/2 cups chilled Cranberry Raspberry Juice in a pitcher. - Pour chilled "pink lemonade infused vodka" in each glass then add punch. Garnish with lime wedge. Well, I know what I'll be doing around 5 o'clock today. Ladies, thank you for "welcoming" me into your book club. I can see why Jamie said there used to be a sign in your town, "Welcome to Welcome." (I love that sort of thing.)

Nerd Club!

2011-03-09T16:21:49Z

It was sad when Teresa told me her "self-proclaimed Nerd Club" in Lancaster, OH used to meet at the local library until budget cuts forced them to move. But, as she pointed out, meeting at Panera means food! Just goes to show, there's always a silver lining. The group is made up of teachers, librarians, retirees and Teresa's mother-in-law. In other words, a tough crowd! Teresa, Misty, Becky, Michelle, Cathy, and Bev. I have to add that Teresa said Julie and Kelley couldn't make it that night and "they were extremely jealous of our celebrity experience!" (Well, of course they were.) Thank you Lady Nerds for hosting your Queen. (You know I Love Nerds.) It was lovely chatting with you. And, hopefully, you were able to try some of the martini recipes when you got home! And now, I'll leave you with a picture I took in your neck of the woods (sort of, but Lake Erie is the closest we got on our Queenly trip):

Rat Race Book Club

2011-03-03T21:28:30Z

I love when book clubs are so into it. As Shannon emailed me when she sent these pictures: Just before you called we played QOTR Trivia and all the green tiaras etc. you see were prizes for correct answers! But, what I want to know is, how come I wasn't invited to play? You're not afraid of a little competition, are you? (Really, I could use a new tiara. Mine is getting a bit worn.) The Rat Race Book Club started because Shannon felt she knew all these amazing women. As she put it, "Friends I run into at the grocery store or on the sidelines of our kids' soccer games...We promise we'll find time to get together (soon!) but it just never happens." She realized how "short & unpredictable life really is" and asked these wonderful women to make time to connect. As she says, "To my surprise, most agreed and committed to it right away-despite the rat race our lives can be...Hence: The Rat Race Book Club (RRBC) was born!" I love that. I think I'll let the pictures tell the story of this fun evening (which I enjoyed by phone in bed - as the group made sure to confirm) in beautiful Gilford, NH. (It really is beautiful. Check out that link.) Ladies, thanks again for choosing to have such a Queenly evening! I had a blast, although I'm still trying to figure out how to answer that sex question.

Hotel Death Ray

2011-01-23T22:27:21Z

Could you guess? Yep, we were recently in Las Vegas. We'd been wanting to go for a quick getaway, then saw that one of our fave bands - The Scissor Sisters was playing at The Palm, so off we went. If you've never heard of them, I'm not surprised. They're an American band, but huge in Europe. I really have no idea why they haven't seemed to have caught on here. (If you want a notch up with the youngin's, tell 'em you like Scissor Sisters. The "kids" who work at our stores were very impressed.) We first heard one of their albums when we were on Captain Dave's boat in Lake Minnetonka on our Queenly trip. He was blarring it over the stereo while we cruised. Their big song at the time was Filthy/Gorgeous, and with lyrics like these, how could I not feel the love? You gotta wrap your fuzzy in a big red bow Ain't no sum bitch gonna treat me like a ho. If you want to listen to the song and read the lyrics: Here's a video of them in Scotland (that's why Jake Shears is wearing a kilt) performing my favorite song of theirs. Parental discretion advised: The Vegas concert was utterly fabulous. Jake reminds me of Mick Jagger, with his strut and total command of the stage. (He used to be a stripper in gay bars, so why not?) The Palm, however, was another story. We had taken a very early flight from Denver, so I wanted to nap in the afternoon, as I knew we'd be up late for the concert. (Oy. I guess it's come to that.) I specifically asked for a quiet room. They put us on the 14th floor. I figured that would be fine and it was, until we entered the room and the walls and furniture started pounding - along with my head. I guess it's considered "fun" to hang out by the pool with a DJ, soaking in those melanoma rays and becoming deaf. Really. If we could hear it on the 14th floor, I don't even want to know what it was like poolside. (Oy. It really has come to that. What do I want from me?) And so, we left for the Vdara the next day. We found out later it has a death ray. Fortunately, we never went to the pool so didn't... you know, disintegrate. Other than that, we loved the Vdara (it's a nonsmoking, non casino hotel. What could be bad?) and will definitely be back. I'm sure we can get an even cheaper deal now that this death ray thing is all over the news. We enjoy walking the strip and seeing all the over-the-top stuff. And, eating. The restaurants are pretty amazing. One thing we didn't do was the "Pig-Out Pass." Want an all-you-can-eat buffet? Just one? Come on! Think big. This is America, people. In Vegas, you can now dine (for one low price of $39.99! - of course your coronary bypass surgery is not included) all day, chosing amongst 7 - count 'em 7 -all-you-can-eaters (or, as I refer to them: barfatoriums). No, Tim and I did not partake, but even so, we were so food toxic by the end of the trip, that I only went to In-N-Out once the entire time we were there. (And, you know how I love my In-N-Out, especially my Double Ds.) When we got back to our car at the Denver airport, I noticed a thin film of schmutz all over the inside, on the windshield and all the windows. I asked Tim, "What in the world is that? We left all the windows closed." I should really know by now that Project Nerd is not going to take these types of questions as the retorical ones they are intended. His response? "Off gases from the upholstry." Is this really common knowledge? What have I been missing? Not much, apparently.

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-24T16:04:24Z

I was talking to a lovely doc in Texas the other day, who mentioned he was going on vacation next week. "What are you going to be doing?" I asked. "Well, my idea of a vacation is lying around, not shaving and reading a good book." He replied. Me too. Happy Holidays!

On A Mission

2010-12-19T19:25:48Z

Kathy Corbin, Zulema Bewley, Meagan Sullivan, Thanya Montemayor, Erika Munoz, and Rhea Watson. When Zulema invited me to call in to her book club, she apologized that it was the second meeting, saying, "I know you are probably disappointed that we didn't choose your book to be the first but being second isn't so bad sometimes." Second is just fine by me. (I've been first a couple of times, and truly: too much pressure! I've probably also been the last a few times, but the ladies were likely too polite to let me know.) Her book club in Mission, TX (in the Rio Grande Valley, not far from Mexico) just formed and all the members are staff of an elementary school. Apparently, the members vote on their book club selections, and Queen of the Road garnered 7 out of 8 votes. (Not that I'm counting, or anything.) Notice that in the picture, Zulema is wearing the "Cousin JT Got Run'd Over By the Tractor" t-shirt. As I told her club, cousin JT is still going strong. And, for those of you who missed it, here's the picture of him standing in front of that very same tractor (in his Cousin JT t-shirt): Ladies, thank you so much for inviting me to be your second book club pick! (The first, for those who must know, was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, so yes, I'm in very good company.) Here's wishing you many evenings of good books! And, to help you on your way.... When I looked up your lovely community on the web for the link, I saw that right at the top of the City of Mission page is the proud proclimation, "Home of the grapefruit!" I LOVE grapefruit. So herewith, a martini recipe that didn't make it into the book (if I had only known) which I shall henceforth call, "The Mission." Enjoy!: The Mission Martini 3 Parts Orange Vodka 1 Part Midori 1 Part Ruby Red Grapefruit

Good SamariTim

2010-12-03T02:11:53Z

After reading my book, many ladies (and even some gents) tell me that my husband is "too good to be true." And, they say it like they don't believe he really is as I portrayed. Well, all you naysayers, behold the latest Project Nerd exploit: Tim walks early (natch) every morning in our neighborhood. It was terribly cold a few days ago and he was just about to turn around when he heard a woman say, "Hello." Not, he insists, "Hello" as in "Hi, handsome, how are you?" but as in, "Help! I need your attention." (That's why, he says, he didn't just keep turning around.) He was wearing earphones and a winter hat, so couldn't tell exactly where the voice came from, but couldn't see anyone anywhere and was about to walk away, when he heard the voice shout, "I'm up here! On the roof!" He looked up and spotted a 60ish year-old woman in sweat pants, t-shirt and no shoes, standing on a small balcony on the second floor of her home. He, of course, walked right over. She asked if he had a cell phone, so he could call someone to help her get down. Never one to shy away from a challenge, PN asked, "Why can't I help you get down?" Tim inquired if she had a ladder, but instead of responding, she climbed over the edge of the balcony and onto the roof of her garage. She then insisted she could climb down to the top of the fence from there. And, indeed, she made her way to sit on top of the six-foot fence - albeit in her bare feet with nothing but frozen concrete below. Tim told her not to jump down, and instead, to let him lift her off the fence. She was reluctant, making some derogatory comment about her weight and started to slide forward. Tim grabbed her legs as she reached around his neck, holding her steady and setting her gently down on the ground. I'm sure all you ladies are thinking, "What's so special? Any decent guy would do that." Well, PN is not just any guy. During his fabulous rescue maneuver, he made a special point of turning 180 degrees and easing her oh-so-slowly down, just to minimize her embarassment about her size, in effect, emphasizing that her "weight" was nothin' at all. Talk about above and beyond. OK, ladies. Whatcha think now?

Kill Me!

2010-11-08T01:38:31Z

After hanging up from a particularly vexing work phone call, I couldn't help exclaiming, "KILL ME!" Tim, who was in the room next door, sang out, "Be right there!"

Psychiatry In Action

2010-11-01T22:50:47Z

For various reasons, I was thinking about our time in Crescent City on the bus. I meant to post today about Tim's latest foray into Project Nerd-dom, but I'm still recovering. So, I thought I'd just rerun this oldie (and I hope, goodie): As a psychiatrist, I am possessed of keen powers of observation. For example, what do you notice about this guy walking on the beach in Crescent City? I immediately noticed he’s a genius. What makes me so sure, you might ask. Look at him closely: In one hand, he has a chick-repellant, AKA metal detector. In the other, a super-duper mitigating agent, perhaps the most powerful chick-attractant of them all: kitten on leash. Genius. Pure genius.