I think I'll start a new series (to be continued until we put the house on the market), called, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Here's the first installment:

That's Tim and his bud, Samson (who, by the way is afraid of heights), hanging the chandelier* in the hallway.

I accompanied them on their lunch break (that's about all the pitching in I'm willing to do on Project Nerd's project days) and speaking of shoes, discovered something I did not know about Samson: He has a women's shoe fetish. Actually, it's more of an anti-fetish. While eating at Half-Fast Subs (just had to give them a plug, both because I love the name, and because the sandwiches are devine), several women in sandals strolled in. Samson became fixated on their feet. He told me what he hates most is to see a lovely lady, all dolled up in a lovely outfit, only to be ruined by shoddy shoes. Who knew? I thought us gals were the only ones who cared about what we wore on our tootsies.

Apparently not.

Samson went on to say that what he particularly finds offensive is when a woman's toe peeps through. He's just not that into toes. (He's not the only one who takes offense at exposed toes.) He then proceeded to tell me about seeing a picture of Paris Hilton.

"She has the most disgusting feet. She was wearing these sandals and her toes hung over the front," he shuddered.

At that moment, I was extremely thankful to be wearing sneakers.

He then listed what are for him, the grossest feet in movie history. I shall spare you the list in its entirety, but rather, shall only let you in on #1: Uma Thurman in Kill Bill - the part where she just got out of the coma and is getting into the car. Apparently, her toenails are rather long and gnarly. (Does anyone else remember this?) Samson was only mildly placated when I commented they were probably using a stunt foot.

Ladies, shoes are apparently not just for us. Such a discovery! Did anyone else know this? And if so, why didn't you tell me?

(Any of you with gorgeous feet out there - Sam is a honey. Sweetest guy you'll ever know. And, single.)

In the next installment of "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" Tim tackles large mirror removal in small bathroom. A mallet and duct tape are involved.

* No husbands, helpers or elk were harmed in the making of this blog post. Sheesh. The antler chandelier is from shed antlers.

This book club in Longmont, Colorado found out about QUEEN OF THE ROAD from a member, Roni's, daughter.

Front Row: Erin, Karin, Roni, Jean
Back Row: Mary, Martha, Gennie, Barb

I'm multigenerational! Oy, I need a drink.

Anyway... I called in and we were having a lovely discussion, when Karin exclaimed, "I'm not done with your book yet, but I have to tell you, I didn't like you at all in the beginning." She went on to say that she hated me a little less as she read on, but since our call, wanted to drink all my martini recipes with me. (I guess she was saying I was driving her to drink.)

As hard as it is to believe, this is not the first time I've heard this from book clubs, although usually they'll say things like, "I found you really annoying." Frankly, whenever people in book clubs say that, I figure I must be some kinda great writer to have portrayed myself so accurately, because yeah: I am annoying. What do you want from me?

Karin's main beef seemed to be that as a Jewish American Princess, I reveled in the fact that I don't cook, clean, etc. I tried to explain (and Karin, please let me know if I was successful) that to me, there's a difference between refusing to do those things and expecting others to do them for you, vs. just not caring if they're done at all. I'm a pig. So sue me.

Here's a recent example: When my book club came over so we could have an author call in, Tim, of course, stayed away until the gals left. (Too much estrogen. Can you blame him?) Upon his return, he walked into the bedroom and promptly came out with a shocked look on his face.

"You made the bed?" He asked, incredulous.

Indeed, I had.

Normally, I think making the bed is a complete waste of time (much like getting dressed if you're just staying at home all day). I mean, really: Why does anyone make the bed unless company is coming over? (And even then, I've been known to... well, never mind.) Seriously, if you can answer that question, I'd love to know. Most of you would never (unlike me) even return to your bedrooom during the day, so who cares if the bed is made? Your cat? (OK, you got me there.)

And, as far as getting dressed every day, the best Tim can do to explain why I should is that, "Decent people get dressed in the morning." Frankly, indecency is fine by me. If anyone can come up with a better rationale than my darling husband has, I'd love to hear that, too.

So... back to the book club. It really was a lovely discussion, and I truly don't mind the "didn't like you" thing. Part of writing memoir that's different than any other genre is that people can hate the book, hate your writing and hate you. I knew very well I was opening myself up to this when I wrote QUEEN OF THE ROAD. And, I can certainly understand Karin's point of view. There are plenty of memoirists who I didn't like from their pages, either. (And no, I'm not sayin' who.)

Along those lines, this club asked me for book recommendations. I'm always happy to give them, but will never recommend bestselling authors or well-known books because everyone's heard of them, anyway, and those writers certainly don't need any help from me. Instead, I much prefer to mention relatively undiscovered jewels: Susan Breen's THE FICTION CLASS, Kristy Kiernan's CATCHING GENIUS and MATTERS OF FAITH and Joshua Henkin's MATRIMONY. (All of these authors call in to book clubs, too.) This prompted the book club to dub me, "The Jewish Princess Oprah." To which I say, "What could be bad?"

They also were kind enough to remind me (as I'm deciding on my next book) that in QUEEN OF THE ROAD, I mentioned I'd love to do a travel guide based on the crapper rating system, ie lid up or lid down. We decided I should call it (after the TLC show, What Not To Wear, and in honor of my Nick Arrojo haircut during our trip) WHERE NOT TO GO. If my editor or agent is reading this, don't worry. I'm not serious - yet.

My lovely neighbor, Susan, is in an equally lovely book club in our utterly lovely town. Although all the ladies work or have worked for The City of Boulder, I must say, they did an admirable job of not discussing super-duper, top secret government business when this Royal visited.

One of the ladies wanted to know if I the descriptions of myself in QUEEN OF THE ROAD were accurate. So, I told her what our contractor, Chris Legault (who, through no fault of his own, has been working on the house off and on for several years) said when he read the book: "Wow. You're really honest about yourself." Keep in mind, Chris is probably the one man in the world who has seen me in my PJs even more than my husband has.

You might think everyone in Boulder is an outdoorsy, hiking type. So, I was not surprised when the ladies asked if, after our year-long RV journey, I was now more into hiking. Nope. I still only hike with Tim about once a year - just to remind us both why I don't do it more often. I also mentioned that I really still didn't get the whole hiking thing - hours of climbing just to see more trees (they all pretty much look alike, anyway) or, to get to a view you'll appreciate for all of five minutes. Every lady but one laughed. She completely agreed with me. But, get this - she's not just any lady: She's the former Mayor of Boulder.

How she ever got elected here with that attitude is beyond me. (I forgot to ask if she at least did - blech -Yoga. I assume it's required by City Charter.)

In this fabulous book club's honor (they even go on a retreat together every year) I shall leave you with another fox photo from my yard. (I've taken many more since the last post. I can't help it. Have you ever seen such utter adorableness in your life?) I'll be posting the rest soon.

"Ah... this Queen doesn't do fox hunts, does she?"

I feel terrible after seeing this picture.

For once, I didn't ask the book club what martini they were drinking. In my defense, I think it was because they were so organized, it didn't even occur to me they might be imbibing. I mean, they had written down their questions and gave them to their President, Marilyn to read. Don't believe me? Well, getta load a this:

(The placard in the clubhouse advertising the meeting. Told ya. Organized.)

So... my best guess judging from the color of the martini and the smiles on the faces of these lovely women is that it was the Headwater High. Whatcha say, ladies?

Let me back up.

I was quite tickled when Helen (who had arranged the call) told me that the club had had Franz Wisner, New York Times Bestselling author (there I go name-dropping, again) of HONEYMOON WITH MY BROTHER, call in several years ago. Franz was kind enough to give me a fabulous (and actually, my first) blurb for QUEEN OF THE ROAD . I had the opportunity to meet him and Kurt (the eponymous brother) while they were recently in Denver to promote Franz's new book, HOW THE WORLD MAKES LOVE, which I must say, is utterly fabulous. And that opinion has nothing to do with the fact that Franz and Kurt are both as charming in person as they are in the books. (And ladies: Kurt's still single. I'm just sayin'.)

I also had to laugh when the gals said they were looking forward to my next book, Porcelin Inspirations.(If you don't get the joke, you haven't read QUEEN and what have I told you about that? Geez).

One of the ladies asked about the nudist RV park. As I told the group, it's not far from where they live... could that be the reason for the question?

Another interesting question I'd never gotten before was if Wal-Mart , aka Chez Sam, charges for the privilege of parking in their lots. Answer: Don't give them any ideas.

Marilyn is apparently one busy lady: She's in two book clubs, and prior to this one's meeting, already arranged for me to call in to her other one. Marilyn - if you'd now like to change your mind, I'll understand.

But, if you're other book club is anything like the Newport Coast Book Club, I certainly hope not! (What will you all be drinking?)

I just love 'em. And, the club I called in to recently in Arcadia, California was a great example.

L. to R.- Linda, Susie (in chair), Rachel, Carla, Sarah, and Kathy (in chair).

Susie chose QUEEN OF THE ROAD because her son's girlfriend, Golda, had read it for her book club in La Jolla, and I had called in for their discussion. (I guess I didn't make too much a fool of myself - or, maybe I did and they found it highly entertaining. Fine by me.)

Anyway, Susie is married to her own MD-Project Nerd (maybe that's why she said her favorite part of the book was my relationship with Tim) and talked about a road trip she and her daughter, Katie, took:

Unlike us, they loved Graceland, can you tell?:

Well, there's no accounting for taste. (Oh, wait a minute: Susie said she loved my book. Oops.)

I do see some potential hate mail in my future from this group: Linda's husband is reading my book now (only real men read QUEEN OF THE ROAD, don'tcha know) and I have a feeling... (Although she has already done a three month RV trip with her kids, but still... Then, there's Sarah who said she'd love to do an RV trip for a year - and she's from NY. Go figure!)

To round out the group: Cathy was in Alaska last summer, so we got to compare some notes and Carla is one of few Los Angeles natives I've ever "met." (As is Linda.)

One of the most interesting parts of our discussion was the idea of getting rid of stuff. Several of the women mentioned that they had been doing that and we wondered if perhaps it's a middle-age thing, a metaphor for shedding some of the old and looking forward to the new.

What do you all think? Was there a time in your life when you felt the need to get rid of stuff? Why? How old were you? If there hasn't been, is that something you can foresee? Those questions are very much on my mind these days as I sort through stuff preparing to give up our stationary home. If this has also been on your mind, what has been the impetus for you?

Joshua Henkin gives good book group.

Although my book club always meets at restaurants (as I've said, we're lazy), I recently entreated the gals to make an exception and meet at my house so we could "invite" Joshua Henkin. He's the author of MATRIMONY (a New York Times notable book - you know how I love to name-drop) and calls in to book clubs all over the country. I figured this would be a very hard sell (my house = I'm cooking, after all), but they readily agreed.

This was truly the best book club discussion we've ever had. We talked about MATRIMONY a bit before Josh's call, and normally that would have been it. (We're a bit more social than book-oriented.) But, his thoughtful comments about the book as well as the writing process stimulated even more discussion afterward: About how the decisions we make when we're young have repercussions we never anticipated later, about how relationships are made up of quiet moments, and about the creative process (several of the characters are writers). One of the members commented later that we were "invigorated" by the phone call. (Geez. And I thought it was my lasagna.)

The gals were particularly impressed with how warm and open Josh is. He teaches writing and we all commented that he must be a fabulous teacher, using words like: "astute," "conversational," "helpful" and "generous with his time". What was most interesting to me was that even for the one person who didn't finish the book (she never finishes any book, except mine - well... she said she finished mine. It's not like there was a test or anything), it was still an amazing evening. I truly had no idea how wonderful it can be to discuss an author's work with him and can only hope the clubs I call into have half the experience Josh gave mine.

As our "senior member" (in terms of time with the group, not age - although she did just have a milestone birthday), Susan, commented: It helped bring a new level of interaction and discussion to our group that otherwise wouldn't have happened. Having the author answer questions about his book was a great way to have more depth and understanding. All book groups should invite the author of their current monthly book at least once if they haven't already done so - and MATRIMONY is a great way to start!

I could not agree more.

Oh, yeah.

Those Baltimore gals sure can party. (And occasionally, when they do, they're known as Baltimorons, like my college boyfriend - but never this group.)

L to R back row: Jen Eckstein, Pamela Steinik, Meri Bomse, Janet Garman, Jen Osterweil, Risa Huber
L to R front row: Jen Stein, Debra Woodward, Marni Rogow, Stacy Haynes

They all coronated themselves in honor of reading QUEEN OF THE ROAD. And what's more, these highjinks ensued without booze: These gals don't drink on weekdays. (Look, they're all in their 30s and 40s. Give 'em time.)

This didn't stop them from crowning themselves based on their occupations. Here's who they chose as the winner (can't say I blame them):

Unfortunately for them, one of the members is a Family Practice doc, so we just couldn't help devolve into a discussion on what to do about health care. And no, to everyone's detriment (including all of yours) no brilliant solutions were forthcoming.

In any event, many thanks to Janet for figuring out how to get me these fabulous photos and many, many thanks to these incredibly creative Baltimore Queens.