Darn you, Comcast!
Anita Leitner; Pam McCuskey; Kathleen Rainwater-Stanton (note the tiara); Mar Scully; Pam Higgins and Caroline Frainier.
I was very much looking forward to calling into The Novel Ones book club in Colorado, but as Pam emailed me afterwards, her Comcast phone and internet went down that day. So, all I got was that annoying message about her phone being disconnected.
At the time, I kept wondering why, if they didn't like the book, they hadn't simply just emailed me to cancel.
Pam said they had a lovely discussion and "We all decided your husband is a saint, and we want to know how we get one of those!"
I'm not telling.
One thing Pam emailed that did NOT sit well with me was that she blew martini out of her nose at some of the funny bits in QUEEN OF THE ROAD. Pam, your Sovereign's first (and only) commandment is: Thou shalt not waste martinis!
Kathleen also emailed me afterwards. Seems there are a couple of RVers in the group. This is Pam's rig:
She says she insisted on painting the truck to match as "A girl has to be coordinated, after all." OK. I guess I forgive you for the martini waste.
I finally went clothes shopping (those of you in book clubs I've called into know I haven't for some time) at my (formerly favorite) used clothing store. A salesgirl asked, "Are you finding everything OK?" I told her that no, actually, when I first started shopping there 20 years ago, I could find appropriate clothes, but I hadn't been there in a while since everything seemed a bit young for me and that still seemed to be the case. Her response?
"Really? I find stuff here for my mom all the time."
I suppose it was bound to happen, but I must admit, with only 2+ weeks left until I turn 50, I had not given this much thought. As a result, I uncharacteristically had no retort. Since I suppose I have to start getting used to this... any suggestions? I don't want anything too snarky (for once), because she really can't help being a silly twit, now can she?
Of course, if anyone offers a snarky suggestion, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it. (But truly, nonsnark appreciated as well.)
During our layover in Dallas, dear, sweet Tim, never one to miss an opportunity to egg on my airplane phobia (now that my bus phobia is largely cured) made a big point of saying, "Did you see the plane we're flying into Ft. Smith?"
This is what he made me look at:
Tim, of course, immediately got into full Project Nerd, Domestic Superhero mode when we landed. Here he is doing some important something or other on Bob's tractor:
What IS it about men and tractors? I don't mean what men see in tractors, I mean what women see in men in tractors. I mean, I was almost ready to move to a farm. Almost.
The manliness could not last, however, as here he is fixing a toilet - with Frances' screwdriver:
Isn't it cute? I'd want one if I'd ever use it.
Still, Tim somehow managed to take time out to make (yet another) mockery of me, by making me feed the horses. Note the difference in how I do it:
vs. how he does it (also note Frances' giant, some might say "mutant," zucchini):
They seem not to like me. The feeling appears to be mutual:
Can you say, "Ewwwww!" (I've really never seen the appeal of riding one of these things. I mean, giving a very large, very dumb beast complete control over my Royal Personage? No thanks!)
Apparently, a lot of things need feeding on farms. Here we are at the catfish pond (note I am completely covered to the waist - no chiggers are gonna git me this trip!):
See the mouth in the lower right? It gave me nightmares (as I'm sure my mouth, ie "Ewwww," again, gave it).
Hey, Tim! If I'm such a bad driver, home come you let me drive Bob and Frances, huh???
Fortunately, it was eventually time for the rest of us to be fed, and even more fortunately, I wasn't the one doing the feeding:
That's me, Cousin JT, his friend, Mary, Bob and Frances.
After dinner, I noticed this across the Arkansas River from the restaurant and asked, "Oh, are they building an amusement park?" Much splitting of sides and slapping of knees, ensued.
It's actually a "sand and gravel operation" according to Tim:
And finally, my favorite line (which occured our last night, while I inspected Tim's ankles for chiggers):
Tim (bragging): "I was out all day, every day in the grass and never got one chigger! I'm immune to chiggers!"
Me (yawning): "One of your superpowers, eh?"
Oy, I figured I had to be on my toes: All the members are UCLA alumni, a few even therapists (check out Clara's website on depression).
Notice anything special about this club?
This book club single-handedly doubled the number of men I've spoken to in book clubs. Pretty cool, huh? Two of the members are even a couple. They've only been meeting since February, so don't really have anything to compare it to, but I couldn't help wonder how my own book club might be different if we had some male energy.
How 'bout yours?