As I do more and more book groups for QUEEN OF THE ROAD (I'll post about them later this week), a common theme seems to be emerging: The women are in love with Tim. Really. (I mean, really?) This is not something I have to use my keen powers of shrinky observation to discern. Nope. They tell me this straight out. One even went so far as to warn me to be wary (of her? other throngs of bookish women?) Oh, please. My husband isn't a normal man with normal desires (the occasional nudist RV park notwithstanding). To wit: I fear his next hare-brained scheme is that we live on a boat. (Yeah, it sounds romantic, but we know nothing about boats.) What's my proof? I've recently caught him surfing sailboat sites on the net. Why, oh why can't I have a normal husband who just surfs for porn?
Not enough for ya? OK, ladies. Let's see whatcha think of Mr. Perfect, now:
Last night, Tim and I had some bites at one of our favorite spots. He ordered lobster and because he's so perfect, offered some to me, even though he knows I won't eat it. (Although I gave up keeping kosher long ago, I still can't do the lobster thing - I just don't see the appeal of having my dinner stare at me while I dismember it.) Usually, that's the end of the interaction, but for some reason, last night he queried further.
"So, what exactly is gefilte fish?" He asked. We've been together nearly 20 years, have gone to almost that number of Passover Sedars, and now he's asking? I explained it's fish ground with eggs and flour or matzoh, molded into oblong shapes, usually served in a jellied broth. (At least the way my family buys 'em.)
"Really?" He asked, dipping that other white meat into a luscious turine of warm butter. "And you call yourselves the 'Chosen People'"?
Fine. He's perfect - and funny.
Thanks so much for your support.
Comments (19)
I like Tim too, but differently.
Posted by Eric Riback | July 22, 2008 11:57 PM
Posted on July 22, 2008 23:57
the description of the fish made me shiver, and not in a good way. the jellied broth pushed me over the edge. jellied broth?! oh my....
Posted by patti | July 23, 2008 1:15 PM
Posted on July 23, 2008 13:15
Eirc - So long as you know that QUEEN OF THE ROAD refers to me, not him!
Posted by Doreen | July 23, 2008 1:24 PM
Posted on July 23, 2008 13:24
Patti - after 4 cups of wine, what's not to like?
Posted by Doreen | July 23, 2008 1:25 PM
Posted on July 23, 2008 13:25
Have you ever heard of the Great Loop Trail (obviously Tim hasn't otherwise he would have already had the handy dandy GAT map up on the wall somewhere...somewhere you can't miss it). I predict (does Tim read this...if so...perhaps hit "delete") that the Loop Trail will be an item of discussion in your future. The Loop Trail is the continuous waterway that encompasses the eastern portion of North America – including the Atlantic and Gulf Intracoastal Waterways, the Great Lakes, the Canadian Heritage Canals, and the inland rivers of America’s heartland. It is also known as the Great Circle Route. It is 5000 to 7500 miles long depending on the route chosen. My husband has been dreaming and noodling on this idea for several years...however he is NOT Project Nerd and knows it...so we've never advanced past the "pin the map on the wall stage"...whew! Let's see Princess of the Prow? Countess of the Canal? Beauty on the Barge? Or perhaps The Mermaid's Chair (oh, I forgot...that title has been taken!).
Posted by Annette Baesel | July 23, 2008 6:36 PM
Posted on July 23, 2008 18:36
Hey, Annette! I thought we were "friends." What're tryin' to do to me?
Yeah, I've heard PN talk about some loopy something or other. I guess that was it. Oy.
I LOVE Princess of the Prow, but I refuse to be demoted. Same with Countess. Maybe Queen of the Canal (or Quanal?). Yeah, needs work. Fortunately, it'll probably be awhile before we're ready for this. At least me, that is.
Posted by Doreen | July 23, 2008 6:53 PM
Posted on July 23, 2008 18:53
Oh man, I love gefilte fish. The jelly like substance surrounding it, the horseradish to dip it in....yum. Time for dinner. I'll go ring the jew bell.
Posted by Robin Altman | July 23, 2008 7:13 PM
Posted on July 23, 2008 19:13
The Gefilte is the king of all fish. All hail the Mighty Gefilte which can only be caught in the deepest seas.
Posted by Jack | July 24, 2008 2:48 AM
Posted on July 24, 2008 02:48
this is so funny since my goy husband always says gefilte fish with this weird scrunched up look on his face and then looks at as if because I'm jewish I am gefilte fish...
Posted by gail konop baker | July 24, 2008 9:02 AM
Posted on July 24, 2008 09:02
Okay...no demotion...how about Queen of the Quarterdeck? which implies at least a queenly ship not some barge scow!
But we know you won't be using either title...not in a million gazillion years!
Posted by Annette Baesel | July 24, 2008 9:01 PM
Posted on July 24, 2008 21:01
News flash Doreen, Tim's hot! At least I think so. The combination of looks and personality is very attractive, and I bet he cleans up real good too. But Queen of the Canal? Sounds a little like like you might be leaving Tim and joining the other team!
Posted by Anonymous | July 25, 2008 10:30 AM
Posted on July 25, 2008 10:30
Queen of the Quarterdeck made me laugh, Annette, so I guess that's the one! (Wait. What am I saying?)
Anon - of course Tim's hot. Would a Queen marry a consort who is not? Besides, how could any woman resist a bus driving psychiatrist?
You do have quite the point (sorry) about the canal thing, though. I guess I'll stick with Queen of the Quarterdeck. (Will you all PLEASE stop encouraging him in this idiotic idea????)
Posted by Doreen | July 25, 2008 11:02 AM
Posted on July 25, 2008 11:02
Hey Doreen, I am "anonymous." Apparently I was suffering another of my senility brain farts when I left that post. Hopefully this one will post correctly.
Posted by polly kahl | July 25, 2008 4:12 PM
Posted on July 25, 2008 16:12
Ah, 'twas you, Polly! Figures you readheads stick together.
Posted by Doreen | July 26, 2008 11:27 AM
Posted on July 26, 2008 11:27
Of course we're the chosen people, we save our annual butter calories for Kugel (noodle pudding with sour cream, cottage cheese, enough butter to choke a horse, a lil' vanilla, lemon, etc.).
Wait, that sounds disgusting.
I swear it isn't!
If youse two decide to travel the world in a sailboat, you should call your next novel "A Tail of Two Seaman"-- Ba-da-buh (Cat Skills jokes. Lame, yes, butchya gotta love'em).
Posted by Katie Schwartz | July 27, 2008 6:26 PM
Posted on July 27, 2008 18:26
Jellied broth? YUCK!
Lobster! YUM!
Tim's the man!
Posted by Anti-Wife | July 27, 2008 7:04 PM
Posted on July 27, 2008 19:04
Just popped over because I haven't 'seen' you in a long time!
Such a funny post!! I already admire your hubby because of his hiking skills.
:-)
(But I have to say, my Jewish roommate from yesteryear tried to get me to eat some of her food---oh, man. Lobster is much better! hehehe)
Posted by Chris Eldin | July 30, 2008 5:21 PM
Posted on July 30, 2008 17:21
I know people who buy the jarred Mrs. Adler's or Manischewitz gefilte fish and re-cook it however they like, with choice seasonings. We gave up jarred/canned gefilte fish years ago in my family; we buy uncooked gefilte fish loaves and simmer them with carrots, sugar, onion, white pepper for 1 1/2 hours. Vastly different-tasting from the jarred stuff.
"My Goy Wonder"-- forget writing another travelogue; you have a great book title there. Everything you ever wanted to know about non-Jewish men...and WEREN't afraid to ask!
Posted by TorontoPearl | August 5, 2008 10:36 PM
Posted on August 5, 2008 22:36
I'm not so sure that recipe has changed anyone's mind, Pearl. I will steal that book idea, though.
Posted by Doreen | August 5, 2008 11:17 PM
Posted on August 5, 2008 23:17