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This Woman Driver (Sort Of)

Litpark posted a wonderfully funny blog entry about her basically (sorry Lit) being a lousy driver. I can relate, because well... I assume I am, too. I say "assume" since I always thought I was a decent enough driver. But since we live in a democracy, I suppose I have to go with the majority opinion here and I've not only heard from my husband often enough how bad I am behind the wheel, but an awful lot of strangers, as well. OK. They don't actually tell me so much as yell it at me. That's why I never have driven our bus. Oh, no. Instead, I'm the navagator (or, as Tim likes to call me, "Nagavator") which frankly, is almost as insane as having me drive.

I have no sense of direction and I can't read a map. So why does the Captain have me consult Rand on a regular basis? (Rand’s a little anal for my tastes, anyway. Reading all those little numbers along all the superfluous squiggly lines can be blinding.) Instead, once when he wanted me to figure out how far we were from a campground, I found the distance scale. Fifteen miles was about the size of a knuckle. Five knuckles later, I offered, quite satisfied with myself, “OK. Five times fifteen is seventy-five. But it’s really a little less than a knuckle length, so . . . we could be anywhere from forty to seventy-five miles away.” Tim rolled his eyes. Just then I spotted the “Mileage Between Cities” chart at the top of the page. Why hadn’t Rand made this more obvious? Like I was supposed to figure out that buried in all this map stuff was actual useful information. (Sometimes I think Rand is just showing off. No one likes a braggart, buster!)

“Oops!” I chuckled.

“How much more is it?” the Captain sighed.

“Actually, we’re only twenty-two miles away. Guess knuckles aren’t the best way to measure.”

“Apparently not yours.”

Comments (4)


Maps?,Rand?,Navagator?I was told that ship had GPS.Or does that stand for Gorgeous personal secretary.

Hmmm. Excellent point. I think it must!

My husband frequently asks me which direction to go. I tell him this way, he goes the opposite of what I say and we get there in no time. Our tried and true method.

I won't even get into the ticket/accident equation. Suffice it to say he has a clean record, and I have not. The best way to travel is when I sit in the car, drink my Starbucks and read a book (hmm, secondary gain here? :-)

Quite amazing you mention this. That is precisely the method my husband uses when he is lost. Just ask the supposed "Queen of the Road" and go exactly 180 degrees from what she thinks. I even do it now when I'm on my own in the car and lost. It DOES work every time.

Wonder how many other women out there have an internal compass in which north points south? (Kinda like what I'm finding happens in general the older I get.)

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on February 15, 2008 12:36 PM.

The previous post in this blog was Beware Falling Moose.

The next post in this blog is Meet a Wonderful Bookseller - Karen West at Book Passage (I Did!).

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