This is supposed to be a year of trying new things, expanding horizons. So, in that spirit, I agree (Tim’s idea) to go to a family nudist RV park.
I check around on the internet. One place seems promising, but I’m not quite clear what they’re about. I call and ask if they are clothing optional.
“No,” the lady unequivocally answers.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I must have the wrong information,” I apologize, hoping she doesn't think I'm some weirdo. But, something in her voice makes me query further.
“So, people don’t walk around naked?” I try to confirm.
“Oh, yes, they do.” She answers. Is this place English optional, perhaps?
“Okay… but you’re not clothing optional.” I offer slowly, with impeccable pronunciation.
“No, we’re nudist.” She snaps. Well, excuuuuse, me.
“I’m not sure I know the difference,” I concede. She explains that when inside the park, one is required to be naked. Now I get it. It was the optional, not the clothing, that was the problem in the whole clothing optional thing. Who knew? Fine, I decide to play along and proceed with what I think is a perfectly reasonable question.
“Can I wear shoes?” She laughs and muzzles the phone to call out to some other nuditity requiring linguaphile.
“She wants to know if she can wear shoes.”
For those of you as clueless as me, the answer is yes. Which means, then, that the correct expression should be partially nudist or perhaps shod optional.
Just think if the entire world were nudist, what expressions would we never have had the pleasure of using: butt crack (nothing to crack it with), get your shorts in a wad (nothing to wad up with) and picking lint out of one's navel (nothing to lintify with) and… ????? Anyone????
Comments (8)
I went to a "clothing optional" one once. It's quite an experience. You can certainly pick out the exhibitionists under those circumstances. I was chicken though. One thing about this place is that your Pradas will sure stand out!
Posted by J. Henry | January 20, 2008 7:35 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:35
And, truly, with Pradas, does one even need to wear anything else?
Posted by Doreen | January 20, 2008 7:36 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:36
But surely you can still carry a purse!
OK. I'll quite calling you surely.
Posted by Anonymous | January 20, 2008 7:36 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:36
More details about the nudist place!
Posted by Sue | January 20, 2008 7:37 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:37
I was wondering this morning about the lady on the other end of your phone inquiry. Suppose she was nude during said conversation? If so she must be super snotty. I can't imagine acting all superior and haughty while your butt is sticking to a vinyl chair.
Posted by J. Henry | January 20, 2008 7:37 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:37
And, I can't help wondering if you've been wondering about this all night!
Posted by Doreen | January 20, 2008 7:38 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:38
That'll teach me to comment on a shrink's blog! (I'd put one of those smiley face punctuation things in instead of the exclamation mark, but I don't know how)
Posted by J. Henry | January 20, 2008 7:39 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:39
OOOps, sorry Sue. Forgot about you. I'm going to post about actually staying at the nudist place this weekend (you don't want to miss naked kareoke).
Posted by Doreen | January 20, 2008 7:39 PM
Posted on January 20, 2008 19:39