We visit my alma mater, Cornell University in Upstate New York. During my four years there, I had never appreciated the Bell Tower, visible throughout much of the campus. It had seemed like just another measure of how overwhelmed I was in my pre-med studies, chiming in hourly to tell me how hopelessly late I was for class. Even though I had passed it every day, I had never taken time to make it to the top. So, now, I climbed the 161 steps to the chimes masters’ room, where, since 1868, this unique instrument (which at 21 bells is one of the largest and most frequently played chimes in the world) is given voice by students who compete annually for the honor of grabbing and stomping on a console of wooden levers with their hands and feet. The effect cannot help but bring to mind the title for a would-be B movie: Attack of the Mensa Ninja Warriors. After finally making it to the top, I could understand why, between the climbing and the chiming, one chimes master received physical education credit for her efforts.

She should try it sometime in Chanel, quilted, pebble grain loafers.